Life In the Balance ~ Part 1

In July of 2004 my husband wanted a motorcycle. I have always been around them and even though it scared me to ride them (I don't think I could control one on my own) I thought it might be fun, and besides, he never asked for anything extravagant before. We went shopping on Saturday and came home that evening with a brand new Black Victory Vegas, similar to the one in the link. Over the next few weeks he fixed it up and put a few thousand more dollars into it. It was really nice (nice and loud). Every afternoon he would come home and go ride for an hour or so. It was a way for him to escape and gain his thoughts after a long night at work. I could tell it made him a happier man. All in all, the bike was a good investment and we were enjoying it.

A couple of months passed and before we knew it the whether was cooling off and the bike rides were getting brisk. I was working full time but with my daughter's daycare schedule I had to work on Saturdays to make up hours I missed during the week. Brad and I had made arrangements to go out on a date one of those Saturday's after I finished working. We spoke on the phone and I casually mentioned that maybe he should bring his bike. It was a nice day and I rarely rode with him, so I figured it would make him happy and it did. BIG MISTAKE. I wish like everything I had kept my mouth shut and let him pick me up in his truck that day.

After a wonderful evening of riding around, going to the movies, getting ice cream, eating dinner and just acting like love-struck teenagers again Brad dropped me off at my car and we headed out to go pick up the baby from his Mom's house. Brad was in front and I was following along behind. Traffic was thick...normal for a Saturday night. He was a little ahead of me and I lost sight of him after we got onto the Highway.

There is a dip in the road where two traffic lights are positioned with a gas station in between them. As I got to the first light, traffic was stopped. I was wondering how in the world I was going to get around this. After all, Brad had my cell phone in his pocket and I wouldn't want him to worry if it took me a while to get to his Mom's. I contemplated turning around and finding another route when suddenly it hit me. Maybe, just maybe I should make sure it's not him that had the accident.

I was able to get across the lanes and I parked at the gas station. I got out of my car and as I was walking up the hill I passed a lady coming down. I looked at her and knowing that everything was fine said "This accident doesn't involve a motorcycle. Does it?" She just stared at me. Then I asked her "Is it a black one?" and she just said "Come with me."

Just a few feet away I saw my beautiful husband lying in the road in a pool of blood. I didn't know what had happened, all I knew was that he was hurt really bad. He still had his helmet on and I didn't go to him because they were putting him on the stretcher to load him into the ambulance and I was scared to get in the way. Someone handed me his shoe and his wallet and helped me into the ambulance.

I was scared.

Never before had I ever felt so helpless. I felt like I was in a movie. I could hear chaos coming from the back and the driver kept "kindly" pressuring me to call someone. It also felt like we were driving in slow motion. I wanted to step on the gas for him. After we reached the hospital Brad was rushed in and I "keeping it together" sat down in the emergency waiting room and waited...Waited.... WAITED...

I am sure I was only there a few minutes when I began to look around at all the people that were there and were having friendly conversations amongst one another. And then when the reality of loneliness set in ~ I fell apart and began to cry uncontrollably. The guard at the door came and got me and took me back to a more private room. There were a few people in the room already and a nurse asked them to leave. Soon a doctor came in and gave me the news.

He said, "Your husband is a very sick man. Sometimes the body begins to shut down and it is a process that after going so far we cannot turn it back. Do you have someone coming to be with you?"

Hailey Adventures & 32 Weeks

Today was fun. It started last night with sweet HP only waking me up 3 times (yes, I am rolling my eyes). The last time it was from her trying to breath through her little stopped up nose. She was on the floor next to my bed, curled up like a puppy on top of a body pillow.

I suppose my previous warning of "NO YOU CANNOT SLEEP WITH ME TONIGHT....GO GET IN YOUR BED AND DON'T WAKE ME UP AGAIN" was translated into "Well, you can sleep in here as long as you don't wake me up" ~Bless her little heart~ Of course after finding her on the floor I let her in the bed (sigh).

Picture day was today at her school. She was very excited and looked adorable. I hope she smiled good for them! She has a goofy fake smile and has seemed to use it on past picture days. I picked her up around lunch time as I do every week day and we started off to the doctor's office for my 32 week check-up. We had plenty of time so we stopped by McD's and played for a while and then ran into $General to pick up a few cheap entertainment items for the waiting room.

We were right on time to the appointment. I gained 3lbs. My blood pressure was 80/40 and Blake's heart beat sounded nice and strong. I am still measuring a week early but there has been no mention of my due date changing. I know I say this every blog but I am so very very excited to meet this little man.

This week his little toenails and fingernails are formed and his skeleton has completely formed. I read his bones are very soft and pliable but they pack a punch when they are pushing against my ribs or hip bones.

A baby shower is in the works for October. I have been so blessed with TONS of friends that always shower me with love and kindness. I can't wait just to get everyone together and hang out. There is nothing I enjoy more than being with friends.

There is always more to be said but I am pooped and I need to go check on little bit. She was running a fever right before I put her to bed and I want to make sure the tylenol has kicked in. Adious.

30 Weeks

Thursday I went for my 30 week check up! I am getting more and more excited and crazy anxious to get things set up for Blake. I am feeling pretty good. Hailey scared him from one side of my tummy to the other with a flashlight a few days ago and my heartburn is much better. Crazy, I know, but if it works it works lol. I didn't gain any weight (yeah me) so Hailey and I celebrated with a Sonic Blast afterwards :) I am measuring at 31 weeks right now, I don't know how I feel about that... I refuse to deliver a giant baby. I cried when the nurse told me she thought Hailey might be around 8 lbs. Now, she only ended up being 7lb 4oz and that was enough work for me! Keep us in your prayers please!