Life In the Balance ~ Part 1

In July of 2004 my husband wanted a motorcycle. I have always been around them and even though it scared me to ride them (I don't think I could control one on my own) I thought it might be fun, and besides, he never asked for anything extravagant before. We went shopping on Saturday and came home that evening with a brand new Black Victory Vegas, similar to the one in the link. Over the next few weeks he fixed it up and put a few thousand more dollars into it. It was really nice (nice and loud). Every afternoon he would come home and go ride for an hour or so. It was a way for him to escape and gain his thoughts after a long night at work. I could tell it made him a happier man. All in all, the bike was a good investment and we were enjoying it.

A couple of months passed and before we knew it the whether was cooling off and the bike rides were getting brisk. I was working full time but with my daughter's daycare schedule I had to work on Saturdays to make up hours I missed during the week. Brad and I had made arrangements to go out on a date one of those Saturday's after I finished working. We spoke on the phone and I casually mentioned that maybe he should bring his bike. It was a nice day and I rarely rode with him, so I figured it would make him happy and it did. BIG MISTAKE. I wish like everything I had kept my mouth shut and let him pick me up in his truck that day.

After a wonderful evening of riding around, going to the movies, getting ice cream, eating dinner and just acting like love-struck teenagers again Brad dropped me off at my car and we headed out to go pick up the baby from his Mom's house. Brad was in front and I was following along behind. Traffic was thick...normal for a Saturday night. He was a little ahead of me and I lost sight of him after we got onto the Highway.

There is a dip in the road where two traffic lights are positioned with a gas station in between them. As I got to the first light, traffic was stopped. I was wondering how in the world I was going to get around this. After all, Brad had my cell phone in his pocket and I wouldn't want him to worry if it took me a while to get to his Mom's. I contemplated turning around and finding another route when suddenly it hit me. Maybe, just maybe I should make sure it's not him that had the accident.

I was able to get across the lanes and I parked at the gas station. I got out of my car and as I was walking up the hill I passed a lady coming down. I looked at her and knowing that everything was fine said "This accident doesn't involve a motorcycle. Does it?" She just stared at me. Then I asked her "Is it a black one?" and she just said "Come with me."

Just a few feet away I saw my beautiful husband lying in the road in a pool of blood. I didn't know what had happened, all I knew was that he was hurt really bad. He still had his helmet on and I didn't go to him because they were putting him on the stretcher to load him into the ambulance and I was scared to get in the way. Someone handed me his shoe and his wallet and helped me into the ambulance.

I was scared.

Never before had I ever felt so helpless. I felt like I was in a movie. I could hear chaos coming from the back and the driver kept "kindly" pressuring me to call someone. It also felt like we were driving in slow motion. I wanted to step on the gas for him. After we reached the hospital Brad was rushed in and I "keeping it together" sat down in the emergency waiting room and waited...Waited.... WAITED...

I am sure I was only there a few minutes when I began to look around at all the people that were there and were having friendly conversations amongst one another. And then when the reality of loneliness set in ~ I fell apart and began to cry uncontrollably. The guard at the door came and got me and took me back to a more private room. There were a few people in the room already and a nurse asked them to leave. Soon a doctor came in and gave me the news.

He said, "Your husband is a very sick man. Sometimes the body begins to shut down and it is a process that after going so far we cannot turn it back. Do you have someone coming to be with you?"