Mother Mayhem

I copied this from a fellow blogger Flip Flop Momma, it was just too funny not to share :)

Your Clothes:

1st baby: You begin wearing
Maternity clothes as soon as your
OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular
Clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes
ARE your regular clothes.

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Preparing for the Birth:

1st baby: You practice your
Breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don't bother
Because you remember that last
Time, breathing didn't do a
Thing.

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural
In your eighth month.

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The Layette:

1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's
Clothes, color-coordinate them,
And fold them neatly in the
Baby's' little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure
That the clothes are clean and
Discard only the ones with the
Darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink,
Can't they?

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Worries:

1st baby: At the first sign of
Distress--a whimper, a frown--you
Pick up the baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up
When her wails threaten to wake
Your firstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your
Three-year-old how to rewind the
Mechanical swing.

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________________

Pacifier:

1st baby: If the pacifier falls
On the floor, you put it away
Until you can go home and wash
And boil it.

2nd baby: When the pacifier falls
On the floor, you squirt it off
With some juice from the baby's
Bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your
Shirt and pop it back in.

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________________

Diapering:

1st baby: You change your baby's
Diapers every hour, whether they
Need it or not.

2nd baby: You change their diaper
Every two to three hours, if
Needed.

3rd baby: You try to change their
Diaper before others start to
Complain about the smell or you
See it sagging to their knees.

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________________

Activities:

1st baby: You take your infant to
Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and
Baby Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to
Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to
The supermarket and the dry
Cleaner.

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________________

Going Out:

1st baby: The first time you
Leave your baby with a sitter,
You call home five times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk
Out the door, you remember to
Leave a number where you can be
Reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions
For the sitter to call only if
She sees blood.

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At Home:

1st baby: You spend a good bit of
Every day just gazing at the
Baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of
Everyday watching to be sure your
Older child isn't squeezing,
Poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit
Of every day hiding from the
Children.

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________________

Swallowing Coins:

1st child: When first child
Swallows a coin, you rush the
Child to the hospital and demand
x-rays.

2nd child: When second child
Swallows a coin, you carefully
Watch for the coin to pass.

3rd child: When third child
Swallows a coin you deduct it
From his allowance!