4 We Are

Thanks to everyone that showed concern for me after my last post. I am fine. I still feel anxious and confused about the whole situation but it really worked out better than I thought it would.

I assumed that if and when I did run into my father or if one day he happened to call me out of the blue, that I would start off emotionally together and then turn into a big ball of tears and snot and ask a lot of questions and maybe even get mad. But, because our "reunion" I will call it, was so random and surprising I guess I was more in shock mode. I gave him a hug, introduced him to Brad and the kids and then only said a little after that. It was slightly uncomfortable only because I didn't know how to act. Was I happy? Was I relieved to see that he was doing o.k.? Was I worried? I couldn't tell and I am still not real sure.

There was a time when I used to check the obituaries for his name. I figured that would be the only way I would ever know if anything happened to him. Sad, I know. But, that was just how I delt with him not being there. When I saw him, he just assumed that I would remember things like where he has always lived, but I don't. I think I blocked everything about being little and that part of my life out.

Anyway, that's an update on where things stand now. I haven't called him yet but I plan to eventually. I have some things that need to be said. I feel like I will burst if I don't say them to him.

Ok...now on a different note. Here are some beautiful pictures of my kids from this week. Always my rays of sunshine!